Grier Rabid and the Crispy lettuce

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Image by Just chaos via Flickr

Well, ol’ Grier Rabid he say to hiself as to how he should be richer than he is at the moment. But. How is he to do this? He sits and he thinks and he thinks and he sits and, suddenly he realises that lettuce
is the answer. Now, if he likes lettuce, he reasons, then others might like it too. So off he hops to his own private lettuce patch deep within the ol’ briar patch and he stuffs his pockets full of the crispest, tastiest leaves.

Down the long and dusty road he goes until he reaches the public house. he hops up to the door and knocks. After waiting for a while he opens the door and hops inside. The noise is deafening, every form of animal is inside and each one is trying to cry louder than the next. The wolf howls and is drowned out by the bleating of the sheep, the bear roars and is blocked by the crowing of the rooster. Grier Rabid is standing there wondering what to do next when one of the sheep says to him “Well? What do you want, ol’ Grier Rabid?”

” I want to be richer than I am now” He says.

“What have you got to offer?” says Mr Sheep

“I got some crisp, tasty lettuce leaves” say ol’ Grier Rabid.

” That’ll do” say ol’ Mr Sheep, his eyes shinning at the sight of such green, green lettuce. ” Go home ol’ Grier Rabid and I will help you get richer”. Grier Rabid goes home and waits.

So, Mr Sheep takes the lettuce and scoffs it all down in one. Suddenly Mr Sheep lets out a cry that stills the room.

“I think you all ought to give ol’ Grier Rabid lots of riches” he says, finishing the tasty green lettuce.

now, for some unknown reason- not really coupled to the sight of Mr Sheep eating those juicy leaves, all of the animals in the public house think this is a good idea.

From that day on ol’ Grier Rabid gets richer and richer and he sits and gloats over all his wealth. He keeps handing out fresh, green and crispy leaves and his piles of wealth get higher and higher until, one day, he has all of the wealth in the world.

Now, ol’ Grier Rabid is sitting outside of his brier patch one gentle evening when Mr Policeman comes by.

“You’ve been a wrong rabid” Mr Policeman says.

” How so?” say ol’ Grier Rabid.

“You have been giving Mr Sheep and his friends lots of nice green and crispy lettuce so that he can help you get richer”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Grier Rabid asks.

“Your leaves are juicer and tastier than anything any one else has offered which is why you now have all the wealth in the world” says ol’ Mr policeman.

“So?” says ol’ Grier Rabid.

“It’s unfair trading” carries on Mr Policeman. ” You stopped other animals from getting hold of wealth because of your juiciest, best lettuce… you should have played fair and bribed Mr Sheep with money like everyone else”

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